10 things I wish I knew when I started dating

 

Here are some truths I learned from dating and watching others date.

1. I have never seen love profit from dishonesty, either of the malicious kind or the well-intentioned ‘benign’ kind which asks us to mask some part of who we are or what we desire in order to become palatable to another.

2. … and that is because truth always wins. Lies always bankrupt themselves and the people participating in them, whether in 2 days, 2 months or 2 decades. How long we are willing to live with not-truth, and suffer its consequences, is up to us.

3. So many people use romantic drama as a distraction strategy from doing the Work of our lives. We choose it because it is incredibly, bewitchingly effective at distracting us.

4. No ‘bad’ romantic experience is wasted or should be regretted if it makes us behave more in the direction of self-respect, truthfulness and harmony in future encounters.

5. If you’re settling, you’re robbing the other person of the opportunity to find someone who 100% appreciates them as they are.

6. Nothing lasts forever  — not even the greatest love story in the world — and in the end, we are always left with our own selves.

7. … and, shockingly, this is okay. (If I could distill one piece of wisdom into a pill and give it to my younger self, it would be this.)

8. Time heals everything. Ev-ery-thing. Always.

9. And because it does, heartbreak is survivable and hence, taking risks for love is worth it.

10. A very small percentage of people in relationships are in great relationships. Single people are one step closer to finding the right one than those in bad relationships.

11. Good love should feel easy in the beginning, and get even easier as time goes on.

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